I learned today that I’ve lost some of my conditioning. Or did I? I mean, today’s twelve miles on the East Boulder Trail was exhausting. I ran two hours of the two and a half hour run in heart rate zone 5, actually I was over 160 bpm by mile five – which extends above the zone 5 max, which is to say that I ran the final seven of those miles at or above my lactate threshold. So that makes me feel good. Otherwise, I have to say that I hurt through most of those seven miles.

Pushing my heart that hard should have hurt, so I’m not going to worry about maybe failing out of shape – feeling so poorly on this trail today. I had some good surges though. Sort of like the Austin Marathon where I surged on everything that even slightly looked like a down-slope. Today, I’d fall into a fast rhythm whenever the crushed rock turned into recently thawed mud underneath a bed of dead plants with the appearance of straw. A dream trail. The tactic kept me running in a fairly tight minute per mile range for the marathon, but both then and today, my pace felt a bit more erratic than the per mile metrics suggest.

Wondering about my ability to push my lactate threshold is what I mostly thought about on today’s run over the East Boulder Trail hills. The one other thing was the epiphany when I realized how fortunate I am to know what gives me joy in life and to be able to enjoy it. I know that running gives me joy. I’m grateful to know that and to be able to run.

When I got home, I looked at the WhatsApp photos of Margot in her first Ballet class. More joy.